Hello and welcome to my blog, Author Interviews. My name is Fiona Mcvie. 

Let’s get you introduced to everyone, shall we? Tell us your name. What is your age?

Author A M Raulerson, 42 years old.

Fiona: Where are you from? 

I was born and raised in Gainesville Florida, home of the University of Florida Gators, and yes I bleed Orange and Blue!

Fiona: A little about your self (ie,  your education, family life, etc.). 

I suppose you could say that I had a relatively normal childhood, if looking at it from the outside. I was raised Mormon, adopted when my parents were a little older. My father had an older daughter from a first marriage, mother had an older son from her first marriage, and then they had a biological daughter together, but they decided they wanted another child. My mother wanted a little princess girl to dress up and be proud of, but that didn’t work out well for her. I’ve always been “strange”, done things completely different and my own way. I didn’t “bond” with her the way she wanted, so she adopted another little girl who turned out to be just what she wanted. They kept me and raised me, but never understood or accepted me. They were too ashamed of their friends judgement if they’d tried to return me because I was defective. I was “different,” odd and not normal, but what the hell is normal? I spent a lot of time alone, became my own person because that is all I could do, and even though I wanted their acceptance… I knew I would never get it. I was extremely confused my whole life, about who and what I was, what was wrong with me. I thought for awhile that I was lesbian, thought that was why I felt so wrong, but I was just guessing because the truth would ba harder for others to accpet. When I came out they threw me out and I knew I was right that they would never love and accept me for who I am. I spent years on the streets, couch surfing when I could, but I didn’t always have a roof over my head. My life went even farther down than that, I use my experiences on the street in my books, wrapping what I went through in fiction, but I still hate myself for some of the things I had to do to survive. I thought I’d reached rock bottom and decided I would do everything I could to prove I was just like them. My “Family.” That if I was like them they would love and accept me. I ended up getting married, which was a huge mistake, and having kids… They still didn’t accept me. I got divorced and married again, both abusive relationships that put their own scars on my bruised and broken soul. This past year, with the help of some of the best women in the world, I got away from the last “husband.” I knew years ago that I’m a Transgender Gay Man, but I never thought that I would get a chance to be who I am on the inside, that I didn’t deserve to be me. My Chosen Family, these wonderful, beautiful, amazing and loving women gave me the chance to be who I am. I am Louis Delos Mason, 42 year old Trans Man and I’ve never been happier in my life.

Fiona: Tell us your latest news. 

I’m so excited to have re-released my book Out of the ashes. I’ve decided to change up the Trust series a little because I want things to be right. I needed to be able to add some detail and content, also to get professional editing because I make a lot of mistakes. LOL The four book series of Trust has been changed, making the first book Trust into a standalone and books 2,3 & 4 into Darkfall Series. Out of the Ashes just came out on December 5th with over 100 pages of extra content and I am SO excited. My next release is with my editor, but it will be the first book of my new series. Conner’s Fight, book #1 of Sanctuary Series. If you have read Forever Bound, then you’ll remember a snarky little scared rentboy, who gave Simon a whole lot of attitude. His story, along with the owner of Sanctuary Darien Black, will definitely be a book you want to read. I don’t have a release date yet, but it should be ready for ARC in the next two months. If anyone is interested in reading and reviewing just send me a message on Facebook.

Fiona: When and why did you begin writing? 

I began writing for publication in 2015, but I’ve written stories and plays, movie scripts and scenes for as long as I can remember. I’d never finished one, always too afraid to take a chance and let someone read it. I made friends on Facebook with a fellow author and sent him a Long email about the trials I’d suffered while on a trip with my Sister in law and Aunt in law.  I ranted and vented because I was upset, then his send before rethinking it. He sent me back a message, laughing and telling me he’d thought I was sending him the premise for a book I wanted to write. He said I sucked him into the plot line, made him want to read it and said he could feel what I was writing. He told me that I Had to write a book, whether it was about the trip or whatever I wanted. I took a chance and started writing, using my life experiences, and a lot of fiction, and used it as a form of therapy. I’m no longer friends with this author, can’t stand the little bugger, but I have to give him credit for helping me and for introducing him to the women who saved my life, helped me to write and have the courage to hit publish.

I’ve always had a very vivid imagination, and being alone a lot let it grow exponentially. If you can believe it, I’m extremely introverted. I like being alone, because it’s safe, but there are exceptions. My Chosen Family, Louis Harem, has always had to listen to my crazy ideas, plots and plans for my characters, and they’ve listened to my crazy SO many times.

Fiona: When did you first consider yourself a writer?

I think there is a difference between Author and Writer. To me a writer is anyone who takes pleasure in writing, making stories or whatever it is they like. An Author is completely different, more of a Word Artist, experienced and able to suck you into a story and feel the characters. Makes you forget where you are, who you are, and gives you the mental pictures and emotions to go with the words on the page. I’ve called myself and infant author, but even that is hard for me to say. I’m learning, just starting to dip my toes into publishing my stories. I have so many heros, Authors that have had me laughing along, crying and hurting with them whether it was physical or emotional pain, wanting desperately for that character to have their happily ever after/happily for now. I love to be sucked into a book and transported to another world, but I don’t think that I’m anywhere near their talent yet. I’m working hard, with every book, to be a better Author, even though I still feel like I’m just a writer inside.

Fiona: What inspired you to write your first book?

I’m not sure I can say exactly what started my first book, not sure I even know myself. LOL I just started writing, but like I said before, I took what I’ve suffered through in my life, wrapped it up in fiction and wrote it. My first book, I’ll admit I hate it. It took a lot out of me to write that book, and I know it needs a major overhaul like Out of the Ashes got, but I’m not ready to tackle that emotional timebomb yet. I don’t know if any other Author is like this, but reading my own books can be hard, reading Trust… near impossible. I’ll get to it one day, but not yet.

Fiona: How did you come up with the title?

With my first book, Trust, I worried and worried about a title as I wrote, then one day the title just popped into my head. Trust is something that had to be earned, and it’s really easy to break. I don’t trust easily, but once you have my trust I’ll fight to the end with you. In BDSM trust is key, things can be very dangerous if you don’t trust the person your with. It’s the same in therapy, or when you’ve been damaged before. You have to have trust in your life, have someone you can truly depend upon, or life gets really hard. I’ve been there, done that. With Out of the Ashes, the characters have gone through personal hell and come out of the other side bigger and brighter and stronger than ever. Even if they don’t know it at first. Most of the other titles came to me the same way, as I write… I know it sounds trite, but they just come to me. My characters speak up and let me know what they want their story to be named.

Fiona: Do you have a specific writing style? Is there anything about your style or genre that you find particularly challenging? 

LOL My only style is… I write what I’m told to. My characters live in my head; I eat sleep and breathe them. I tend to write when I’m “on a roll” writing until I can see anymore, but I’m not the one telling the stories. I tell their stories, the way they want them told, and sometimes I have to tell them to slow down because my fingers can only type so fast.

I write MM BDSM Dark Erotica. One thing I find challenging about my genre is that I want to make sure I have things right. I always want to make sure that people are careful, that they know about safety precautions and the correct way to do things. One of my biggest fears is that someone will try something that I write about and get hurt! It’s Fiction, but so is porn and people still try things they see there. LOL

Fiona: How much of the book is realistic and are experiences based on someone you know, or events in your own life?

My books are fiction, so I obviously wasn’t a child sex slave like  in Trust, but I had some bad experiences when I was a child and I used that to give Justin’s story emotion. Those emotions are mine, the pain and fear and self disgust. All of my books have some form of emotional pain or fear, trigger warning here. There is physical pain, both consensual through BDSM practices and traumatic events that are written as flashbacks. The events that happened in my books may not be exactly what I went through, but the traumatic emotions are mine. 

Fiona: To craft your works, do you have to travel? Before or during the process? 

In my mind I do. I don’t have to go anywhere else but into my mind to travel into theirs.

Fiona: Who designed the covers?

Sister in my Chosen Family, member of Louis Harem, Stephanie Downs… but the other members pipe up their opinions before it’s finally approved.

Fiona: Is there a message in your novel that you want readers to grasp?

That it’s possible to heal, even from extremely traumatic events. Again been there, doing that. That it’s okay to be who you are, to like what you like or getting what you need to feel whole. That there is no shame in being comforted or getting pleasure from something that isn’t “normal,” and that there are more kinky minded people out there than you think. Bottom line: Who you are and what you need are perfectly acceptable, no matter what anyone else says about it. F**k  them, it’s none of their business anyway.

Fiona: Are there any new authors that have grasped your interest?  Who is your favorite writer, and what is it about their work that really strikes you?

For a new Author I would have to name a couple, and some will just be new to me. A Little writes MM ADBL and does it wonderfully. I’m sitting, not so patiently, waiting for a new book! Also in MM ADBL is Author Izaia Winter, who is new and already an amazing story teller. Not new, but new to me, is Author Varian Krylov who writes and emotional roller coaster that is hard to put into a genre, at least for me it is. It’s dark and scary, but tugs at every emotion you can think of. 

For a favorite Author? Oh, this is a really difficult question for me because there are just so many! There are so many different genres that I read, so many people who have supported me too. Even if it was just a kind word when I was having a bad day, there are just… too many to name. If I leave anyone out, I’m sorry, but I’ll try and keep it short.

C W Gray writes amazing Mpreg Scifi, and so does Hannah Walker. I gobbled up both of their books like a starving man on a cheese sandwich. D J Heart writes some very dark and kinky MM erotica, and I am shocked and excited every time. Nicholas Bella… I absolutely adore the erotic darkness, the dirtyness in the midst of love and conquest. Kiki Burrelli writes many different things, but I’ve re-reader her series’, waiting and searching for the rest. Annabella Michaels books tell stories of love and survival, her MM books always so good you can’t put it down. I should stop now but there are so may others. Leona Windwalker Patricia Logan Nj Lysk Suzi Hawke Piper Scott Sean Kerr… So So SO many other amazing authors out there that I love to read!

Fiona: Outside of family members, name one entity that supported your commitment to become a published author. 

I hate to give the little diva the credit, but Noah Harris was the author that first helped me to write, and encouraged me to publish. Even if he is crappy person, he did help to get me started and introduced me to the most important people in my life.

Fiona: Do you see writing as a career?

I’m not sure I would call it a career. More like a passion, a desperate need… Sometimes I go for a time where I don’t write, where I can’t. Then all of a sudden the words and emotions have to come out, and the safest way for that to happen is to sink into my mind and let it go.

Fiona: If you had to do it all over again, would you change anything in your latest book?

I just change a bunch in the last book I have published, Out of the Ashes. I needed it to be better than it was, to tell the story cleaner, more fluid, so I decided to fix it. I still can’t go back to my first book, but I will get there eventually.

Fiona: Did you learn anything during the writing of your recent book? 

I think I learn a little bit from every book I write, but it’s more like… I’m giving myself permission to feel what I feel, and like what I like, be who I am just the same as I want my readers to feel. It’s a lesson I have to relearn constantly, but my characters help me each time.

Fiona: If your book was made into a film, who would you like to play the lead? 

Since Out of the Ashes was the last published I’ll go with that book. For Detective Alexi Walker I think Colton Haynes. For Detective Lucas Bachelier: Alexander Skarsgard. I’ll tell you now, that took a lot longer to pick than I thought. Lots of yummy men to look at, but hard to pick.

Fiona: Any advice for other writers?

I’m not sure I’m in a place to give advice, so I’ll just tell you what one of my idol Authors said. Take it easy, everyone makes mistakes and you learn from them. Write what’s in your heart, but realize that it’s okay that not everyone likes it. Do you, don’t try to be like anyone else. Take constructive criticism as a way to make you a better writer, and forget the mean people because they’re just miserable and trying to make you miserable too.

Fiona: Anything specific you want to tell your readers? 

I’m trying to perfect my old books, but don’t worry I have new stuff coming soon. I Always love to hear from my readers, so don’t be afraid to message or email me!

Fiona: What book are you reading now?

Dangerously Happy by Krylov Varian  AND Fazil (The Kif Warriors Book 4) by Kiki Burrelli  AND rereading A Thin Line Between Love & Hate by A M Snead

Fiona: Do you remember the first book you read?

Unfortunately I have problems remembering anything and everything! But I do know that I absolutely LOVED anything from Tolkien. I read The Hobbit so so sooo many times. I think that the movies did a pretty good job too. Gasp!

Fiona: What makes you laugh/cry?

Books. I know that’s weird, but honestly I live through books. It’s easier for me to feel okay with my emotions when I’m reading. I always feel like I laugh at the wrong things or get upset incorrectly when I’m dealing with the real world. I’ve always known I don’t respond the way people normally would. Sometimes I do, but then sometimes I don’t, so whenI read I know I’m responding correctly because the book tells me so.

Fiona: Is there one person, past or present, you would love to meet? Why? 

Oh that’s hard to say. I’m not sure how to answer that because there isn’t one person in particular for me. 

Fiona: Do you have any hobbies? 

Reading, writing, and playing with my eight pound service dog Halfpint. I used to be involved with theatre and I miss it a little bit, but I miss my art and especially my photography badly. It’s like I can sometimes still feel my Nikon in my hand, like phantom limb syndrome.

Fiona: What TV shows/films do you enjoy watching?

The Incredible Dr Pol, Secret Lives of the Zoo, Live PD, Blue Bloods!

Fiona: Favorite foods, colors,  music? 

Pizza! Blue and Purple and… I love showtunes like Rent and Les Miserables, Pentatonix, Sam Smith and Todrick Hall’s Straight outta Oz!

Fiona: Imagine a future where you no longer write. What would you do?

I’d be heavily medicated, with my own comfy white jacket that hugs.

Fiona: You only have 24 hours to live how would you spend that time?

 Writing and talking to my girlz, to my Chosen Family.

Fiona: What do you want written on your head stone? 

There is no normal, so I had to be me!

Fiona: Do you have a blog or website readers can visit for updates, events and special offers? 

I’m mostly on Facebook and instagram, but I do have an ARC list in the making for my next book and I will be starting a newsletter too. If interested please email me or message me. My email is ljamandamarie@gmail.com and you can find me at Author AM Raulerson on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100012577532932

Amazon Authors Page USA https://www.amazon.com/A-M-Raulerson/e/B01N967OSL/ref=dp_byline_cont_ebooks_1

UK https://www.amazon.co.uk/A-M-Raulerson/e/B01N967OSL?ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_2&qid=1577050184&sr=1-2

 Message or email me anytime, I love to hear from people! XOXOXO