Name Sandy Papas
Age I’ve stopped counting
Where are you from
A semi-retired nude model with an accounting degree and several tattoos of various tequila brands. I could tell you that I’m the matriarch of a wealthy coconut oil dynasty with 5 ginger children and a pony called Stardust, but that would be a lie.
Fiona: Tell us your latest news?
A woman was hit in the face with a frisbee a while back. It made it to the front page of the newspapers here. I took a picture of the headline. That was a highlight for me that day. Other than that, I’m waiting for Amazon to process my latest erotic short about a man and his deep appreciation of carrots (The Carrot In You) and am working on 2 more shorts for this month; one about some MM bears and another with werewolves. Next month will be all about tentacles and dinosaurs. (As I’m writing this my schedule is, yet again, not exactly keeping since I was thrown two other non-prose deadlines that needed to be addressed first)
Fiona: When and why did you begin writing?
For the money. My teachers insisted that the short stories I handed in were simply part of the regular curriculum and no one got paid for writing in school, but after a few decades of persisting, I have managed to combine writing with monetary compensation and staying up all night. And love of the craft or something like it.
Fiona: When did you first consider yourself a writer?
First time? In high school. I planned a grand novel and told my guidance counselor that the grand novel was why I didn’t pay much attention to school or, you know, attend classes. Art is sacrifice and I was willing to sacrifice my education and social life for the grand novel. Of course I never wrote a word of it. Can’t even remember what my magnum opus was supposed to be about. Something really pretentious, probably. I mean, who tells their guidance counselor they want to sacrifice for their art?
More recently, this year when it’s an actual part of my income and I have actual stories on sale and they are actually being read. And I set up a monetary penalty for myself to keep myself on track with writing.
Fiona: What inspired you to write your first book?
Skipping school and wanting to sound cool for doing it. Like, I was totally doing something really important and definitely not laying on the couch so I could catch all the daytime Judge Judy reruns on TV.
Then after graduating I worked several different jobs with the idea that yeah, I’ll publish books. “Look at me, I’m just working all these other jobs to earn money but I’m REALLY a writer and a graphic artist in disguise.” Of course I never wrote a single thing. Unless you count short blog posts about horse penises. I’m proud to say that was my most popular MySpace post. Anyone remember MySpace? Yeah, I didn’t think so. It was like Facebook, if Facebook was full of glitter and created solely for hooking up. After about 15 years of trying to figure out why I wasn’t making money as a horse penis-blogger on Myspace, I veered into graphic design and put out a short illustration booklet more or less on a dare. The moment I got the book in my hands I knew that I had been concentrating my energies totally wrong. I needed to be putting books together for sale, not to impress boys on Myspace (also at this time Myspace had stopped existing as a social media platform, so that helped too) and focus on actually doing the books and not earning money from all kinds of other work. Which is probably every creative’s dilemma: how much to do you want to create and how much do you want to survive under capitalism? So I analyzed the situation: what had motivated me? Someone told me it couldn’t/shouldn’t be done and that I could not do it because I just didn’t know how. That’s a really good way to get me to do things. So what was I really bad at? Writing sex scenes. I’d done it before as a teen and it was so bad that a magazine that published everything had declined my story. To be fair, I’d compared ejaculation to a fire-hose. I don’t think I knew how to sex at the time. I also wrote the story with a pencil, in cursive, on essay paper and wrote my age and school class number on the corner. So I can see now that there were several elements that could’ve been better.
Proving myself and those editors from 40+ years ago wrong motivated me. Also Chuck Tingle.
Fiona: Do you have a specific writing style?
Drunk or tired, in the middle of the night, after a dozen videos about baby badgers. Is there a Drunk And Tired genre? I keep my serious stories in the drawer. No one needs more of those. The world can be terrible, do you need to read about how terrible the world is for someone else too? If you do, there are people who write those stories really well. I’m not one of those people.
Fiona: How did you come up with the title?
Random title generators, Horsey tweets, misheard lyrics or a trying to come up with a porn-parody name for a movie or a book and inserting shifters in it. It’s much like the In Your Pants game, but with werewolves. No Country For Old Werewolves. Driving Miss Werewolf. Around The Werewolf In 80 Days. That sort of thing.
Fiona: Is there a message in your novel that you want readers to grasp?
Sex is funny, it’s not a serious thing. Werewolves can be idiots and you shouldn’t pick a life time mate based on how gruff and ripped and devoid of a pulse they are. It’s ok to lust after their hairy nipples though. And Justin Trudeau has a nice butt. You can say that out loud.
Fiona: How much of the book is realistic and are experiences based on someone you know, or events in your own life?
Life would be REALLY interesting if any of the space T-rex sex was based on real events.
Yes, characters are generally based on real people (minus the shifting thing and all the stuff about feeling attracted to bees or vegetables.. like I fully support them if that’s their thing, but those are not details about their lives I’m intimate with. Just throwing that out there.. not outing anyone in my books) and I want to write good and likeable characters.
Fiona: What books have most influenced your life most? a mentor?
The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy series. I keep rereading that because I never remember a blessed thing that happens in them, aside from the world getting blown up stuff and towels being good. It’s such an interesting experience to invest that much time into a book and never remembering any of it.
Chuck Tingle is my mentor, only he doesn’t know it. I just observe him from afar. Don’t tell him that. Let’s not make things awkward.
Fiona: Are there any new authors that have grasped your interest and who is your favorite author and what is it that really strikes you about their work?
I have A.E.Wasp, Andi Van and Rhae Camdyn on my desk waiting for a long enough bathroom break that I could actually get some reading done. The most I’ve managed in the past six months is a quick read through of Jen Finelli’s free shorts.
My favourite authors aren’t strictly speaking prose authors. Allan Moore is probably my all time favourite (you know the guy with the crazy beard, who does all the occult stuff and a lot of acid and then writes the best comic books in the Very Serious genre?) and Brian K. Vaugh has done brilliant work with Saga. They both share the same depth and nuance in characters and the stories going into wildly imaginative directions.
Fiona: Name one entity that you feel supported you outside of family members.
This would be a toss up between the state and social media. Both are doing a bang up job so far.
Fiona: Do you see writing as a career?
I do write full time, I just don’t write prose full time. Over half of my time goes to writing out commercial things that bring in the cat food money. Not that I have a cat.
Fiona: If you had to do it all over again, would you change anything in your latest book?
I would start writing it earlier.
Fiona: Do you recall how your interest in writing originated?
There are no honest answers to this that would not be slightly depressing so let’s go with “I was sitting under a book tree and was hit on the head by a ripe book which kindled my interest in words and gravity’s effect on them”.
Fiona: Can you share a little of your current work with us?
An excerpt? Sure! This is from M4M4BEAR:
“I put the shoe back on and fiddled with the lock with one hand, balancing the Anniversary Cake on the other. As I opened the door the scent of the stew hit me in the face like a bag of well loved jockstraps. This was coming from our home? Tim was cooking?
Alarm ran naked across my subconscious.
“Whaaat?!” A distant, muffled reply sounded from his work space up on the loft. “It smells like food here! Are you ok?!” I shouted back, the panic in no way reduced. If Tim was in the study, then no one was in the kitchen and there was definitely food being made and this had all the elements of a kitchen fire. Not again. My throat was closing up.”
Fiona: Is there anything you find particularly challenging in your writing?
Staying awake in the middle of the night. Finding baby goats to sacrifice. Tentacle sex scenes.
Fiona: Do you have to travel much concerning your book(s)?
I wish! I’m sure that might be a problem for people who HAVE to travel for their books, but since I’m not one of those people I can only make ill-educated statements about how much I’d love to travel for my books.
Not every day though. I used to work as a house painter and the second biggest reason for quitting the field was having to travel to 3-4 different work sites in different parts of the town per day and not getting to paint anything in any of them.
Fiona: Who designed the covers?
I do. <insert your own zinger about authors making their own covers here>
Fiona: What was the hardest part of writing your book?
Balancing the need to sleep and see the sun with the need to finish the books.
Fiona: Did you learn anything from writing your book and what was it?
I learned what “play Horse” is (I’m not from the US), that Word hates British spelling and my English gets really confused when Word complains about perfectly serviceable words and that you need to occasionally take a break from writing steamy sex scenes to writing terrible, pun-riddled sex scenes to clear your palate and entertain yourself.
Fiona: If any of your books was made into a film who would you like to play the lead
Diego Luna. Apart from a single character that I’ve modeled after Martin Sensmeier, I’d like Diego Luna to play all of them. Every single character. Including the bees and the tentacles. We could make it work. I could show him. He might have to take his shirt off for me to show him properly.
Fiona: Do you have any advice for other writers?
Write. Mostly just write. Enjoy your writing. Don’t think too hard when putting the words down. You can always come back and change the words later. It’s much more important to keep writing than worry about getting it perfect and unique on the first go. Also: Drake and Blane are kind of done. If you want a deep and mysterious male MC, call him Werner. No one saw that coming.
Fiona: Do you have anything specific that you want to say to your readers?
I ❤ U.
Fiona: What book are you reading now?
“Let (it) go!” by Rosa Meriläinen and Saara Särmä. This is my toilet reading right now… I think it’s about intersectional feminism? Haven’t made much progress with it. I do my emails on the toilet too, these days.
Fiona: Do you remember the first book you read?
First novel length book was either “The Lion, The Witch And The Wardrobe” by C.S.Lewis or “Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Sex But Were Afraid To Ask” by David Reuben. All I remember was that I read them around the same time. Good books both. Very complimentary if you happen to be crushing on a fictional lion.
Fiona: What makes you laugh/cry?
Money does both.
Fiona: Is there one person pass or present you would meet and why?
Catherine The Great because hell yeah for powerful women who had many young lovers and a friend tasked with picking only the ones who were both intelligent as well as attractive and skilled lovers. And I want to ask her about that table.
Fiona: What do you want written on your head stone and why?
“I’ve hidden it in a place where you’ll never find it, until it’s too late”
Mostly just to keep people guessing what it is and worry about finding it in time.
Fiona: Other than writing do you have any hobbies?
Does vodka count?
Fiona: What TV shows/films do you enjoy watching?
Currently The Magicians, Bob’s Burgers and Bones. Wes Anderson movies are good for getting in the mood.
Fiona: Favorite foods / Colors/ Music
I eat anything with meat in it, like my home appliances pink, and my music eclectic. Electro swing or salsa is a safe bet.
Fiona: If you were not a writer what else would you like to have done?
I still have time to be a water poloist or an international lawyer if I wanted to. It’s not too late until you’re dead. Though I suppose being a child prodigy is now off limits. I could be the world’s oldest child prodigy…?
Fiona: Do you have a blog/website? If so what is it?
Website is currently a simple WordPress blog at https://sexypotatoes.wordpress.com/
My Twitter is https://twitter.com/sandypapas
Amazon author page is https://www.amazon.com/Sandy-Papas
Here’s a list of book links:
The Yakuza Affair: http://a.co/7eaycZ5
Poking At Their Pregnant Blonde: http://a.co/9gMPhSi
Any Way You Pump A Centaur 1: http://a.co/9v5zsWw
Any Way You Pump A Centaur 2: http://a.co/g5DP5pr #
Dracula And The Night Nurse: http://a.co/42IeCAu
Newest book out is The Carrot In You (hopefully out by the time you read this), I’ll attach a picture of the cover for you and the image I use as my author picture even if it’s not of my face. It’s still my own foot.